Not Lessons, But Experiences

Not long ago, I was meditating. I had been crying a lot around that time feeling tender, overstimulated, overwhelmed. There was so much noise in my life, inside and out, and I felt like the only thing I had any control over was my breath.

So I turned to meditation, the way I knew how long, deep draws of breath. And as I breathed, the tears came again. Each inhale softened me. Each exhale released something. I didn’t even know what I was releasing at first, just that it needed to go.

And then, a thought came one I had never had before:

“Life is not about lessons. It’s about experiences.”

That insight cracked something open in me. I suddenly understood the spirit behind what Spirit had been trying to show me for a long time. I have been too hard on myself. I’m always trying to solve, to fix, to find the deeper meaning, the takeaway, the lesson.

But maybe… that’s not the point. Maybe I don’t need all the answers. Maybe none of us do. And more importantly we’re not supposed to.

In my work as a hospice nurse, I’ve cared for people from all walks of life: the well-traveled, the accomplished, the wise. People who have lived full, fascinating, deeply human lives. And when they talk if they’re able to talk what they remember most, what they cherish, are not the lessons.

It’s the experiences.

Morning coffee on the patio with someone you love. Laughing until your belly hurts. Reading a good book. Practicing gratitude. Sitting still in nature. Traveling alone, with family, with friends. Dancing at parties. Eating delicious food. Starting over. Falling in love. Losing things. Finding yourself again. Shopping, flocking, being human.

That is what they carry to the edge. Not “lessons learned.” But life lived.

And I think… that’s enough.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to get it right, to extract wisdom from every mistake, to grow grow grow. But maybe the real invitation is just to be here. To experience. To witness ourselves in joy, in sorrow, in longing, in wonder.

Later, I stumbled across a quote that made me smile one of those quiet confirmations from the universe that you’re on the right track. It was from Winnie the Pooh, of all places:

“Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved.”

Simple. Sweet. True. And it made me chuckle because even a silly old bear knows what it’s taken me a lifetime to begin understanding.

In the years I’ve spent nursing, and especially in hospice, this is what I’ve learned:

Life is not so much about learning a lesson as it is about experiencing the moment mindfully, gratefully, and fully.

If you’re reading this, maybe this is your permission to soften. To let go of the idea that you’re failing if you haven’t figured it all out. To know that simply being present truly present is more than enough.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You’re already doing it.

Yours truly,

Kimberly